Pokemon Games Make Me Sad

I enjoyed Pokemon Red, back in the day as a novelty, but it was never any great fascination for me. I love games, but I have zero interest in the genre of games my son and I call "walk-around-and-talk-to-people-games," because that's what you spend most of the game doing. Where's the fun in that?

In case you're unfamiliar with this type of RPG (role-playing game) game, I'll explain. You guide your character around a little "world," talking with in-game characters, collecting information, solving puzzles, engaging in quests, and doing battle in some cases. For example, your objective may be to find your way to some castle where you can join a competition or rescue someone. But you have to learn the secret routes from characters who first must be found and then appeased. Much of the game time is spent exploring and interrogating.

This may sound like fun, but it becomes repetitive and tedious quickly (to me). Pokemon, Zelda, Chrono Trigger, Animal Crossing, Monster Hunter...massively popular games with youth and adults. Even though I don't get into these myself, I was always a little surprised that my son never did either, considering it's such a staple of his generation. But it occurred to me talking to him just now: Maybe these games are so popular now because most kids today have no freedom to "roam" the way us Gen-Xers did.

I, and prior generations used to enjoy roaming far and wide, exploring the furthest reaches of our territories; meeting strangers and unfamiliar; getting lost and in trouble; getting ourselves un-lost and out of trouble. Kids today spend their waking hours either in school, in after-school activities, tutoring, supervised sports, supervised play-dates, or just at home studying or staring at screens. 

"Good" parents keep constant vigil and tight control over their kids these days. It's no wonder kids crave this kind of virtual freedom. It's also no wonder my son never did, as we live in the deep suburbs and we've always encouraged him to roam. Sometimes he gets lost for hours. Sometimes we sweat bullets waiting for him to come home. There have been some pretty scary episodes. But he remains un-abducted and a capable explorer. 

I used to think these were a neat idea and a great new direction in gaming. Now I perceive these walk-around-and-talk-to-people games as sad substitutes, like prosthetic limbs or homeless' cardboard boxes. Glaring reminders of what kids should have but don't.

Nice to See it Working: Child-Raising Method

The other day in the supermarket we saw a small child getting upset about something. He was about two or three years old and there was something that he wanted more than life itself. But the mother was ready to check out and didn't want to bother with it. The child's voice raised and tensed. "Here we go," we all thought. Here comes the screaming, kicking meltdown with the mother embarrassed and either ignoring or yelling (maybe hitting) the brat. But then she surprised everyone. She knelt down and actually talked WITH her son, calmly and patiently. Respectfully. Then she got out of line to go look at whatever it was. There was another discussion (I wish I could have heard it, but it appeared civil and intelligent), and they returned to the line without whatever it was, and without any hard feelings, screaming, pulling, dragging, yelling, crying, or violence, either. She diffused a potential firestorm with a brief, respectful discussion and it appeared to be the way they usually dealt with matters.

I loved this because this is exactly how my wife and I chose to raise our son. We always tried to discuss rather than command; give either options or explanations; demonstrate rather than compel; respect and patience. It's easier and quicker to use your huge adult body to force kids to submit, or to "pull rank" on them ("...because I'm your parent and I said so, that's why!"). But in the long run you're just teaching them to do the same and the day's coming when they'll be bigger than you. Good luck "controlling" them, then.

It's takes a little more time initially, and you may feel like a chump for deigning to negotiate with a "stupid child" who "should be grateful for the life you gave them" but unfortunately it just doesn't work like that. As a school-owner of over 14 years I've seen all kinds of parent-child dynamics and their results. Draconian rule only breeds more certain rebellion (or mindless automatons). Violence breeds violence. Dishonesty breeds dishonesty. So please, take a little extra time, swallow your pride and be ready lose the occasional argument, too. You'll have a much more reasonable offspring, a better relationship; and it only cost you a few extra minutes here and there, and maybe a well-litigated Pokemon chocolate.